Starlight Addiction
by Butterfly Hippie
Summary: AU. Edward works in an insane asylum to quietly kill those whose lives are not worth living. But Edward's secret is put in jeopardy when he falls in love with a girl he's supposed to kill-and he begins to wonder if her life is as worthless as it seems.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**Song for this chapter: Starlight Addiction by Push Play**

**Alternate song: Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne**

Chapter 1

"Edward! Are you listening to me?" I snapped back to attention.

"Yes, Jack. I'm sorry." My manager looked annoyed, but resumed his lecture.

"Anyway, you'll be working in room 321 today, alright?"

"Yes, sir." Jack glanced around to make sure no one was listening, then leaned towards me and whispered.

"Mix it up a little this time, okay? The board's getting suspicious with all these broken necks." I nodded.

"I'll do my best."

"You'll do better than that." threatened Jack. "Remember, I know your secret." I shuddered at the memory. Jack had figured out that my family and I are vampires through a combination of stealth, cunning, and persistence some years ago. Since then, he had sworn to secrecy on the grounds that my family and I would work for him, or else he would reveal our secret to the entire population of Forks, Washington. Truth be told, that population isn't much, but it's enough. Enough that if it got out that the Cullens are vampires, it could destroy us. Jack is a very powerful man, in more ways than one. When he says something, people listen to him. Fear can be a very useful motivator.

I listened to the meaningless gibberish inside my head as I walked down the hall, a broom and dustpan as my props. Usually it's very easy for me to tune out other people's thoughts; the asylum residents, in particular, typically only have wild, erratic thoughts that rarely form themselves into something coherent. But this day there was something different, a bell-clear voice that rose above the others. I couldn't make out the exact thoughts, but the voice was incredibly absorbing. I stood there for quite some time before I broke out of my trance and realized that standing in the middle of the hallway listening to the voices in my head was not the best way to make sure my secret wasn't exposed. Nevertheless, the voice was just too compelling. I began to head in the direction I heard it coming from.

I stopped in front of a door, exactly the same as all the others. There was nothing to suggest the occupant's unusually addicting inner voice. Only then did I realize that I had been holding my breath since the moment I had first heard the voice in my head. I took a deep breath...

...and nearly fell backward from the sheer power of the scent that assaulted me. Only once I had regained my footing did I realize that the scent was not a bad smell, in fact, it was the purest, sweetest, most aromatic scent I had ever inhaled. My throat closed with fierce burning, and for a minute the thirst was so powerful that I couldn't even think. I closed my eyes and the voices in my head blurred together into one big roar. Eventually the craving subsided, and, against my better judgment, I placed my trembling hand on the doorknob and opened the door. Just before I went in, my eyes caught the number on the door: 321.

She was sitting in the middle of the room, facing the window, in an ancient wheelchair that looked like it had been around longer than I have-and that's saying something for a nearly century-old vampire. Now that I was in the room, her thoughts became clear to me. _The ocean is so beautiful...I wish I could swim in it. _The simplicity of her wishes surprised me. She was not mentally retarded-anyone who listened to her thoughts for half a second could figure that out. Yet, with all the pettiness and selfishness that comes with intelligence, all she really wanted was to swim in the ocean. On the pretense of cleaning the floor, I moved into her line of vision. Her eyes, which had been darting around the room of their own volition, suddenly focused on me. They were blue-the color of the ocean she loved so much. They drew me in, just like the ocean's current, and refused to let go.

_Wow...he's hot. _I stifled a laugh at the typical teenage girl thoughts. This one definitely had all her mental facilities in place.

_Bet he'd never look at a girl as ugly as me_, she thought wistfully, and my heart ached.

"Actually," I said softly before I could stop myself. "I think you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." Her eyes widened, and for a minute I feared I had made a grave mistake. _I must've just imagined it._ I breathed a sigh of relief, and right then I knew I couldn't kill her. Not today, at any rate. I needed time to collect my thoughts and my senses. And maybe talk to Carlisle. I turned and made my way out the door, feeling those blue eyes on me every step of the way.

A/N: My first Twilight fic!! LOVE Twilight! prattles on for a bit about Edward Cullen OK, I'm done now. So...what'd you think?? Please review!! Chapter updates may be a bit erratic according to school and the mood of my muse, but I promise to try my hardest to get them up in a timely fashion! Again, please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A/N: OMG, I cannot believe how many people reviewed/alerted this story!! I seriously like almost died when I opened my email and there was like over 30 alert/review emails for this one story!! I've never gotten this many reviews/alerts for a first chapter in, like, ever!! OK, I'm calmer now, LOL.

In response to some confusion, this is an AU story, in that the girl in the insane asylum is NOT, I repeat NOT, Bella. She is an OC, completely from my own mind. I toyed around with the idea of having Bella be the girl Edward falls in love with, but in the end I decided my vision of the character would deviate too far from the Bella we all know and love. You'll find out more about the girl in this chapter.

**Song for this chapter: Become by the Goo Goo Dolls**

**Alternate song: Crush by David Archuleta**

Chapter 2

The next morning, the girl's inner voice was resonating in my head like the chorus of some incredibly catchy song. It was driving me insane. Why couldn't I get her voice out of my head? More importantly, why couldn't I get _her_ out of my head? Why was she any different from the thousands of other asylum residents I had killed over the years?

At work, I tried to avoid her, not trusting myself to go anywhere near her room. Unfortunately, Jack, being my boss, was harder to avoid. He caught me by the shoulder as I was loaded down with cleaning supplies.

"Edward. You have a minute?" It was a command, cleverly phrased to sound like a question. Reluctantly, I stopped. I looked Jack straight in the eye, and immediately wished I hadn't. His eyes were blazing with fury, and his face was an alarming shade of purple. I maintained my calm facade and waited for him to spit out what I already knew from his thoughts and his face: he was angry that I hadn't killed her yesterday, when I had the chance.

"Edward." he repeated, and his voice was unusually calm. Too calm. "I requested that you _take care_ of the resident in room 321 yesterday, did I not?"

My mouth was overflowing with venom. I was dying to bite him, change him, and see him go through the agony he deserved. I tried to keep up the stone facade as I answered through clenched teeth.

"Yes. I believe you did."

"Well then." Jack said triumphantly, as if he had proved something incredibly difficult. "Why did you not do your job, then?" I opened my mouth to speak, and then closed it again. It was futile, whatever I said. Jack was already convinced that I was plotting against him. His paranoia was really quite intriguing at times.

"Do your job, Edward. And do it today. Or I'll do it for you." He turned to leave.

"Wait." The word was out of my mouth before I'd even realized I'd said it.

Jack turned to face me, a leering, gleeful smile on his face. He thought he had me cornered. He thought I was going to listen to him, kill the girl like the good little worker I was supposed to be. Well, he was in for a shocker.

"What's...wrong with the girl in room 321?" Jack paused, his expression unreadable and his thoughts dissolving into a mass of confusion. Finally, he spoke.

"Her name is Nicole DeMoire. She suffers from severe cerebral palsy. She can't talk. She's an idiot. An imbecile. A _retard_." Jack spit out the last few sentences with such malice that I would have been afraid had I not had about a foot of height on him. My entire body ached with fury. I knew the girl I had met yesterday was nowhere near retarded-on the contrary, she was extremely bright. But I knew Jack would never understand. He automatically equated physical disability with loss of intelligence, and I pitied him for it.

"She's a waste of human life. One of God's greatest mistakes. She doesn't deserve to be alive. And that is why you need to kill her. Kill her now. _Today_." And with that, Jack left, leaving me standing there in shock, wondering what in the world I was supposed to do now.

I couldn't stay away. I went back to her room, with a broom and dustpan in hand, although by now it seemed a little ridiculous, as I knew that I wouldn't be doing any sweeping. Instead, upon entering the room, I gazed at her with such a passion that it made her uncomfortable. I couldn't figure out why she was so beautiful. She would have been fairly hideous to anyone else who looked at her. Her legs and arms were contorted into horrible positions, pulled there by years of neglect and spastic muscles. Her body fought against the restraints in the too-small ancient wheelchair. It looked incredibly painful. But her hair was the most amazing shade of chestnut brown, and her eyes were even more piercing than I had remembered, and suddenly I understood. I needed to step back and look at the whole person, not just the parts that seemed ugly. Finally, after what seemed a lifetime, I regained control enough to say something.

"Hello, Nicole." She didn't say anything, merely gazed back at me with such intensity that I was momentarily taken aback. Her thoughts became too scattered for me to make out much of them, but at last, she spoke.

"You've...come...to kill...me." It was a statement, not a question, and I could tell it took a great deal of effort for her to say it. Her speech was labored, and it took several minutes for me to make sense of what she'd said.

"I thought you couldn't speak." I mumbled by way of an answer.

"It's...hard. It's...easier...for me...to not...talk. It...takes me...a long...time." She struggled through three sentences so much that I could immediately see why she chose not to speak.

"You've...come...to kill...me." she repeated, and I squirmed with guilt. Never before had one of my victims been so aware of their impending death. But, then again, never before had I felt so conflicted.

"Yes. I've come to kill you." She smiled slightly, a spastic grimace that showed her yellowed teeth.

"They've...done it...before. I knew...I'd be...next soon." I stepped back, unsure of what to do.

"I don't want to kill you." I whispered, terrified that with one wrong move, one tiny loss of control, I _would_ kill her.

"Then...don't. You...have...a choice." Her insight was astounding, and quite terrifying.

"No. I don't. Not really." If I killed her, things would settle back into place and my family and I would be safe. If I didn't, our secret, our family, our entire existence, was in jeopardy.

"You..._do_." Her voice grew higher and more insistent. In the distance, a door slammed shut, and she startled, her body jerking against those horrible straps that kept her pinned to her wheelchair like some sort of captured animal. I couldn't watch it anymore. It was too horrible.

"I have to go." And with that, I fled, feeling foolish and weak for not being able to kill this girl, who looked like one gust of wind would do the job for me.

When I got home, my whole family was already seated around the table waiting for me. Alice had seen what was happening, obviously, and Carlisle had decided it would be best to have a family meeting.

"Well?" I asked Alice grumpily as I came through the door. "What am I going to do?" She looked at me and smiled brightly. Damn Alice and her perpetual cheerfulness.

"I don't know. The possibilities are fluctuating by the second. There's a distinct chance you'll kill her, but, then again, there's a possibility you won't. I honestly can't tell." She could've been talking about the coming of the apocalypse and she would've sounded like she was talking about nothing more serious than the weather.

"Well, Edward." Carlisle said softly. "It is your choice. If you choose to leave her alive, we won't be able to remain in Forks, obviously. But we _will_ move on for you."

"Speak for yourself." Rosalie muttered, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Rosalie..." Carlisle said warningly. "Do not forget, we have moved on for _you_ before. You should extend the same courtesy to Edward." Rosalie opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by a sudden gasp. Alice went rigid in her chair, her face as pale as moonlight. A low, guttural groan escaped as she rocked back and forth, clearly in agony. The rest of us watched with bated breath, fearful of what this latest vision might reveal. Finally, her face regained its color and she opened her eyes to find us all staring at her expectantly.

"Edward." she said, and her voice was infused with something I'd never heard before from her-pure, unadulterated terror. "The girl is in danger. You have to get her out of here."

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I've been crazy busy with school and things. But rest assured, I know where this story is going and I should have the next chapter up as soon as possible! Please review!


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